DANCE

My friend/lover/handyman John has been in town working for a week. I haven’t told him yet that I’m not seeing him, maybe it’s because I still am.

 

A few days ago, we had one of our famous conversations.  It went kind of like this:

 

Me: I think while I’m talking to you, you are planning your day. Ever once in awhile I throw in something like….There’s an elephant drinking coffee next door…just to see if you’re listening.

 

John: I think I would notice a pink elephant.

(Then he closes his eyes.)

John: What color are my eyes?

 

Me:  Blue?

John, shaking his head no:  Your ex husbands eyes were blue….mine have always been brown.  You always think they are blue. Ha….I don’t listen, but you don’t see.

 

He gives me his cell phone number 3 times and insists I will not call him. There is a lot of speculation about how i keep losing his cell phone number. According to him he has been working hard (in spite of my resistance) to maintain our relationship.  We are both laughing and hugging by the end of this conversation.

My ego got a boost today. But what goes up must come down.  A young guy tried to pick me up, Never mind that he was probably a serial killer, I have to admit I was flattered.  He couldn’t have been more than thirty. He had tattoos all over his massive forearms. I got just close enough to recognize   the sword in the stone. I was leaning besides a building trying to take advantage of the growing shade, when he offered me a ride.

 

 My friend John had gone into a lease space to get a ladder. I would never have jumped into a car with a strange man anyway. This guy was very endearing. He didn’t have that “Ted Bundy” look. As he drove off,   I wondered if I reminded him of his Mother. I smiled to myself at the possibility  that I still had “it”.

 

John walked up and asked what was going on.  When I told him he raised his eyebrows. “Well you are standing outside of a bar; he probably thought you were a hooker.”

 

I was reminded of Chanda’s Sunday post, CLICK HERE and I tossed the bag of Doritos I had been munching on in the nearest dumpster.

 

I gotta admit I am rather fond of laughing and hugging. And since my children are now current in reading my blog. I have to admit I really can’t go dancing with anybody else right now. So Steffi if you’re reading this….I am in love….. It’s the laughing and hugging kind. I'm still having fun even though it is a slow dance.

 

In a stream without water,

I found a room without walls,

Where a soul with no body,

Juggled virtual balls.

 

The energy here runs hot and cold.

All who enter here should know.

This is a place that changes lives.

This is a place where miracles flow.

 

I am flying without wings.

I am raging without anger.

You are reading without words.

We are gathering friendly strangers.

 

 

Home to the familiar,

Running from the lies,

It is a time of changes,

I feel it in your eyes.

 

  

I am in a Tennessee Williams state of mind…It is a long hot summer and I have become a “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof”. This is a play that was made into a film. Here is the South with all it’s charm and it’s rebel spirit. Dysfunction and fear and death and deceit are built-in characters to complement the humans. Sex and the lack of it and the fear ot it and the wrong kind and the renewal of it is the real star. No wonder I love it.

 

 Like  the characters, in that particular drama, I may not resolve my issues. But it is in my nature to try.

 

Tonight while I am standing in the Texas sun at softball practice, I will be thinking of Maggie, the cat, a  flawed, and magnificent  woman. And this weekend I will try to watch this film again.

“Silence about a thing just magnifies it.”

 

 “You can be young without money, but you can’t be old without it.”  

 

. “What is the victory of a cat on a hot tin roof?—I wish I knew. . . . Just staying on it, I guess, as long as she can….”

 

And I will be grateful that I am not married to a guy named Brick.