Well Hunter maybe someday you will read this. I will copy it and tuck it into the bottom of the box of things I save for you.

Last night when you were sleeping after I tucked you in. I watched you for awhile. You look like your Mother only darker. You sing like your Mom only louder. You will be a breaker of hearts. Maybe not on purpose, but you have that amazing thing that draws people. You are a soul magnet. Hearts will always open for you..They always have. So please be gentle with them.

You are going to be tall, and strong, and I am guessing very athletic. When you were born the Dr's noticed some strange things in your x rays.....So your Mom and I took you to Scottish Rite Hospiatal for a lot of x rays and test. When I took you back about 5 Dr's marched in looking really serious. Then just one was left. When I asked him what was wrong with you he laughed. "This baby has a one in a million skeleton and bone structure. There is nothing wrong he should be a great athlete."

I was relieved. When you started dribbling a regulation basketball before you were 2 I kinda understood. Yesterday I noticed all your baby fat has melted away and you are perfect. It is a gift. I love the way you put words together...This morning you stood in the middle of the floor and said, "Call me King Hunter" You are a child with a lot of gifts. You are funny and you are smart and you are loving. Guard your gifts. Do not take them for granted or throw them away. If you do not appreciate your gifts you may lose them.


When you were born I saw your dimples first. I was looking at your Mom and holding her hand. She was having a rough time. Your Mom was little more than a child when she had you. But she was a determined child. She never doubted that she wanted you she never considered abortion or adoption. She knew. I was not so sure. I was wrong.

The minute I saw your dimples and your hair and heard you cry, I knew you were a gift. Your Mom has always loved you and wanted you. I wanted you and loved you the second I saw you. You are my heart.

So I think when you are reading this I will still be around. I hope I do not embarass you too much. But just in case I am not here I want you to know that I am amazed by your Gemini spirit and dazzled by your winning ways. I think when I met you I was not so happy with my life. You changed everything.

So you have been surrounded by women...generations of women whose hearts you have. You had me with the dimples.....you turned me into Meejay and you are the most important man in my life.

I do not always take the high road. I do not believe a lot of the anger that was directed my way, and spilled over to a debate over love, with a few exceptions, had much to do with my February 10 post. I am not sorry for anything I have written since. I am puzzled at the bottomless depth of some peoples anger and no longer conflicted about the moral issues which concerned me some months ago.

The Stream is a place with real people. I love many of the people here. I do not love others. I have developed friendships and respect for some on the stream. I am continuing to make new friends here. Whether the stream becomes a typhoon or dries into an emotional desert I will feel the same about some people.

The stream after all is a place which reflects back at you what you send. Medusa wouldn't have a chance. May all that travel here understand these truths. If you are angry you cannot really find a target here. Ultimately your hate will return to you magnified. If you are meanspirited then others will ultimately treat you as you treat them....If you are in pain....you will find you are not alone.

The thing about the Stream is that it is a good place to find out about you. But that only works for people capable of taking responsibility for their actions. People that are capable of caring for others and people that are given to self analysis. There are some personalities that already know everything and have nothing better to do than attack others.

If you are just wanting to harass other people there are plenty of places to do that. If you are intent on using your free time to spread venom come and get me. Spill all your hate here. Drop your rocks in the stream.

I live in a glass house. I do not throw rocks around here. You will probably get deleted as soon as I find you. I will not read you. But rather than a social experiment in hate spewing this will give you someplace to come. I recognize you. This way you will not feel so alone.

In AA, one of the spiritual concepts we practice is that we try not to resent sick people. I need work there. Here I am a middle aged woman in Texas tapping at a computer while her grandson dances the Flamenco in the dining room. A barefoot woman who is looking for a refrigerator on another on line window. Because mine went out and the repairman says it will cost too much to fix. A woman that has some silly ideas. Like if we were all on the same wagontrain maybe some of us didn't get along back then. And if we were all on the Titantic maybe there was some real anger directed towards the lifeboats by those freezing in the water.

There are pretenders on the Stream.
You know who you are.
That's OK as long as you don't hurt anyone.
......Don't mess with my friends.

Does anybody out there know if it's a full moon or what? I guess I'm gonna check because it seems like one.


PS. Send positive reinforcements.

I believe in miracles....
An angel with wings spread to the heavens
A ghost moving to the light
A healing
A blind man gets his sight



I enjoy an adventure....
a mystery solved
one last look
a new direction
the end of a good book



I need to celebrate.....
the seasons of life
the extra mile
a vision of peace
an ancient smile



I love to meditate....
a candle in the dark
a single soul asks why
Intuition opens a new door
blended souls will fly

The thought struck me while I was writing my last post, that I had not included the negative possibilities about techno voyeurism and exhibitionism. Very telling, that I should choose to ignore them when I have witnessed them firsthand.

Here we have peeping Tom and Lot's wife staring each other down and the last vision that Tom sees as his blindness overtakes him is Lot's wife, Right before she turned into a pillar or salt. As a result, poor peeping Tom is forced to wander forever blind blaming Lot's wife for his troubles.
.
Public voyeurism, like people watching is harmless. It is the secret non consensual stalking that usual involves sex that is in a lot of cases a crime. Sharing as much or as little of your life and opinions is a choice. Running naked through a crowded mall is criminal exhibitionism. The cops usually arrest streakers.

In reality TV, one begins to wonder how much is true and how much has been edited for dramatic effect. The transparency aspect on the Stream has its pitfalls. The transparent soul is vulnerable. The possibility exists, that someone may admit to a crime, or expose themselves in some way that opens up a door for attack. The attack may come from without or within.

In a room with thousands of people, there are predators and criminals as well as people suffering from all kinds of pain that may not be on the surface. The worst case in a forum like the internet is that the predators will seek victims. Perhaps on the stream, this would not be sexual. Perhaps a sadist would harass a victim in other ways. Perhaps a person in emotional pain could get worse and worse looking for negative attention.

Just like in society at large, there is a downside to watching while other people reveal themselves. It is the supportive nature of the people here and their caring for each other that makes it unusual. I believe on the Stream that the acceptance and the respect have always been a part of the software. I believe that most of the attacks are from within. I believe that in a lot of ways the Stream is unique. Maybe I am too convinced for my own good. After all, I have a tendency to forget the negative when it is staring right at me.

There is something spiritual. It does bring out the best in most of us. It seems like a phenomenon to me. But then I am the woman who thinks that it can all be broken down to soul level.